journal stuff
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Moving Back Home
I haven't been this excited for something in quite a while, a genuine excitement about life that is basically an oasis in a desert at this point. I haven't lived in a place where I have had a home for about seven years, but I know I am moving to one. There is that unmistakable feeling of comfort, a place where you can always go that is safe. Not having that is well, unhealthy to say the least. Not having a reliable foundation of people you are close to is suicide, not physical suicide obviously, but certainly mental suicide.
Not having that for so long and being so emotionally vulnerable twenty-four seven has made me well, tired to say the least. It's a to say the least entry in my journal today, to say the least. Not having that has made me understand and relate to the damaged and broken that much more, because a lot of it really isn't there fault, they just got the shaft on a strong family. I realized that you can make a home, and it usually takes about 3 years through meeting people and making friends. I realize this because I almost had one again in Asheville before I moved and started all over again... phew, TSTL.
Enough about relating to the emotionally damaged, I feel as though enough people have written about it to account for the entire history of humanity. That and I am finally to a point where I am not damaged again, most of the time.
So some of the things that happen before you move have begun: excitement, the thrill of leaving your crap job (and slow realization that you'll be replacing it with another), finally and most painfully meeting a possibly perfect mate that you would love to be with, but you are moving. Son of a Bitch! But alas, it was probably just something that found you because of your newly found excitement and energy. I dunno, I am certainly willing to try and start a relationship and keep it going from 2 and a half hours away, I think that 2 and a half hours is the limit. I doubt that it will happen though, but that's just from biased based on sub-par partners. This one could be above par, she could be the hole-in-one. Probably the birdie though, she seems like a birdie.
She has two things that are rarely together for me, the lovey dovey feeling and comfort. I have imagined being with a girl named Lauren who likes going to festivals before I met her, and I always wanted to meet a vegetarian that made me stop eating meat, lol. This serendipity and cute matching interests are always the perfect equation for luuuve. Or disaster, usually both, but that has historically been without the feeling of comfort, which makes sense. Anyways, I doubt it will ever get to that point, it is as far fetched as publishing a novel. That being a nudge and a wink to reality, or the powers that be.
Where am I in this entry? I forgot. Ahh! Excitement about going home. It is great to have something trump the excitement of meeting a girl, having a home trumps it though. If there is ever a time when I have a chance at making a home with such a girl, that would most certainly trump the former. But going home, Yay! the end.
Not having that for so long and being so emotionally vulnerable twenty-four seven has made me well, tired to say the least. It's a to say the least entry in my journal today, to say the least. Not having that has made me understand and relate to the damaged and broken that much more, because a lot of it really isn't there fault, they just got the shaft on a strong family. I realized that you can make a home, and it usually takes about 3 years through meeting people and making friends. I realize this because I almost had one again in Asheville before I moved and started all over again... phew, TSTL.
Enough about relating to the emotionally damaged, I feel as though enough people have written about it to account for the entire history of humanity. That and I am finally to a point where I am not damaged again, most of the time.
So some of the things that happen before you move have begun: excitement, the thrill of leaving your crap job (and slow realization that you'll be replacing it with another), finally and most painfully meeting a possibly perfect mate that you would love to be with, but you are moving. Son of a Bitch! But alas, it was probably just something that found you because of your newly found excitement and energy. I dunno, I am certainly willing to try and start a relationship and keep it going from 2 and a half hours away, I think that 2 and a half hours is the limit. I doubt that it will happen though, but that's just from biased based on sub-par partners. This one could be above par, she could be the hole-in-one. Probably the birdie though, she seems like a birdie.
She has two things that are rarely together for me, the lovey dovey feeling and comfort. I have imagined being with a girl named Lauren who likes going to festivals before I met her, and I always wanted to meet a vegetarian that made me stop eating meat, lol. This serendipity and cute matching interests are always the perfect equation for luuuve. Or disaster, usually both, but that has historically been without the feeling of comfort, which makes sense. Anyways, I doubt it will ever get to that point, it is as far fetched as publishing a novel. That being a nudge and a wink to reality, or the powers that be.
Where am I in this entry? I forgot. Ahh! Excitement about going home. It is great to have something trump the excitement of meeting a girl, having a home trumps it though. If there is ever a time when I have a chance at making a home with such a girl, that would most certainly trump the former. But going home, Yay! the end.
